I smell stomach acid.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
