your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
