Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
