Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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