i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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