apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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