is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
