I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize