im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
