yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
