did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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