One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
