i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
