and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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