Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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