his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
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IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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