As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Congratulations! We have a period
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
