Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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