i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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