So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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