My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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