I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
