would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
