her vagine was all disorganized.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
