the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
They are going to name an STD after you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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