I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
