i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
