I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
