Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
