I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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