I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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