so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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