so let's talk penis.
either way he was missing a nipple.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
