U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
