it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
