Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
