Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
