I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am in a vortex of obligation.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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