kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
