i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
