So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
