hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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