party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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