Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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