my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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