i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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