Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
