Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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