his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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