she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
