yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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