Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
