You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
