well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize