thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize