my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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