You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
