I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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