This girl is more easily done than said...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
