Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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