We're like a lot better than the average bears
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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