how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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