Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
