so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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