so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
