I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Everything about him screamed your future.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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