Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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