Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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