That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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