drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
