I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
