my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
