If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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