That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
