no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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