Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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