At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
