I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
