I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up under a house in Key West
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
