I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
